Incomplete

Incomplete One day I´ll find relief
I´ll be arrived
And I´ll be friend to my friends who know how to be friends
One day I´ll be at peace
I´ll be enlightened and I´ll be married with children and maybe adopt
One day I will be healed
I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

One day my mind will retreat
And I´ll know God
And I´ll be constantly one with her night dusk and day
One day I´ll be secure
Like the women I see on their thirtieth anniversaries

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

Ever unfolding
Ever expanding
Ever adventurous
And torturous
And never done

One day I will speak freely
I´ll be less afraid
And measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art
One day I will be faith-filled
I´ll be trusting and spacious authentic and grounded and home

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

Tapes

“I am someone easy to leave”
“Even easier to forget”
a voice, if inaccurate
Again: “I´m the one they all run from”
diatribes of clouded sun
someone help me find the pause button

All these tapes in my head swirl around
Keeping my vibe down
All these thoughts in my head aren´t my own
Wreaking havoc

“I´m too exhausting to be loved”
“a volatile chemical”
“best to quarantine and cut off”

All these tapes in my head swirl around
Keeping my vibe down
All these thoughts in my head aren´t my own
Wreaking havoc

“I´m but thorn in your sweet side”
“You are better off without me”
“It´d be best to leave at once”

All these tapes in my head swirl around
Keeping my vibe down
All these thoughts in my head aren´t my own
Wreaking havoc

Not as We

we Reborn and shivering
Spat out on new terrain

Unsure unconvincing
This faint and shaky hour

Day one day one start over again
Step one step one
I´m barely making sense for now
I´m faking it I´m pseudo making it
From scratch begin again but this time I as i
And not as we

Gun shy and quivering
Timid without a hand

Feign brave with steel intent
little and hardly here

Day one day one start over again
Step one step one
with not much making sense just yet
I´m faking it til I´m pseudo making it
From scratch begin again but this time I as i
And not as we

Eyes wet toward
Wide open frayed
If God´s taking bets
I pray He wants to lose

Day one day one start over again
Step one step one
I´m barely making sense just yet
I´m faking it til I´m pseudo making it
From scratch begin again but this time I as I
And not as we

Versions of Violence

Coercing or leaving
Shutting down and punishing
Running from rooms, defending
Withholding, justifying

These versions of violence
Sometimes subtle sometimes clear
And the ones that go unnoticed
Still leave their mark once disappeared

Diagnosing, analyzing
Unsolicited advice
Explaining and controlling,
Judging opining and meddling

These versions of violence
Sometimes subtle sometimes clear
And the ones that go unnoticed
Still leave their mark once disappeared

This labeling
This pointing
this sensitive´s unraveling
This sting I´ve been ignoring
I feel it way down way down

These versions of violence
Sometimes subtle sometimes clear
And the ones that go unnoticed
Still leave their mark once disappeared

Straitjacket

Straitjacket Something so benign for me construed as cruelty
Such a difference between who I am and who you see

Conclusions you come to of me routinely incorrect
I don´t know who you´re talking to with such fucking disrespect

This shit´s making me crazy
The way you nullify what´s in my head
You say one thing do another
And argue that´s not what you did
Your way´s making me mental
How you filter as skewed interpret
I swear you won´t be happy til
I am bound in a straight jacket

Talking with you´s like talking to a sive that can´t hear me
You fight me tooth and nail to disavow what´s happening

Your resistance to a mirror I feel screaming from your body
One day I´ll introduce myself and you´ll see you´ve not yet met me

This shit´s making me crazy
The way you nullify what´s in my head
You say one thing do another
And argue that´s not what you did
Your way´s making me mental
How you filter as skewed interpret
I swear you won´t be happy til
I am bound in a straight jacket

Grand dissonance
The strings of my puppet are cut
The end of an era
Your discrediting´s lost my consent

Underneath

Underneath Look at us break our bonds in this kitchen
Look at us rallying all our defenses
Look at us waging war in our bedroom
Look at us jumping ship in our dialogues

There is no difference in what we´re doing in here
That doesn´t show up as bigger symptoms out there
So why spend all our time in dressing our bandages
When we´ve the ultimate key to the cause right here, our underneath

Look at us our form our cliques in our sandbox
Look at us micro kids with both our hearts blocked
Look at us turn away from all the rough spots
Look at dictatorship on my own block

There is no difference in what we´re doing in here
That doesn´t show up as bigger symptoms out there
So why spend all our time in dressing our bandages
When we´ve the ultimate key to the cause right here, our underneath

How I´ve spun my wheels with carts before my horse
When shine on the outside springs from the root
Spotlight on these seeds of simpler reasons
This core, born into form, starts in our living room

There is no difference in what we´re doing in here
That doesn´t show up as bigger symptoms out there
So why spend all our time in dressing our bandages
When we´ve the ultimate key to the cause right here, our underneath